Life After Hogwarts
by Macbeth2
Summary: This is just an epilogue to my first two fics "Saving Harry" and "A New Harry". Read those fics first. Rating for slash and language.


**A/N: I should have had this oneshot out months ago, but I just had no idea what I wanted to do with it. Obviously, I do now. This is my sequel and epilogue to Saving Harry and A New Harry; it is all about Harry and Draco's relationship after A New Harry ends. **

**I used the song "Hate That I Love You" by Rihanna featuring NeYo. So this is how much they are devoted to each other, and even though they want to kill each other sometimes, or most of the time, they know that now matter what they other does, they'll always love each other, and sometimes they hate that. And they fight a lot, and leave each other, and come back; they know that they should break up, but they don't; they can't. I think's it's a wonderful song! By the way, any parts of the song with Rihanna singing (I will indicate; assume the singer doesn't change until I say it does in the lyrics) are Harry's point of view, and all those sung by NeYo are Draco's point of view.**

**I tried to put in as many memories as possible, but I don't know how I did. I hope I didn't make my few faithful readers disappointed, and I hope you like it! It doesn't have much of a plot though, and it doesn't flow in a conscious time frame, as it is mainly just an epilogue so it jumps around to different scenes to fit the song right. Enjoy!**

**!WARNING: Slash, if you don't like, don't read, and language; lots of language.**

_(FLASHBACK!)_

_"Please, Draco, don't go! I didn't mean it, I'll say no! You know I'm willing, and you know how much I need you!" Harry begged as Draco walked out the door yet again. He followed his lover around the house as he packed up his things in a backpack, preparing to go to Blaise's house for another month-long stay after him and Harry had another big fight. They always fought. Harry didn't know why he bothered trying to keep the relationship together when Draco left at the drop of a hat._

_"Harry, I'm the only one who works to put food on the table! Don't you think your a little old for Quiddich, for a game! You always leave for so long, and I'm stuck here worrying when you'll come back to me, and if you'll come back in one piece! I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of you!" Draco said as he walked out the door, slamming the door in Harry's face on his way out. Harry went to call Blaise, to warn him of Draco's arrival, and to ask him to try and get Draco to come back soon._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

Harry sighed and ran his hands through his hair as he thought about that fight three and a half weeks ago. As much as he knew Blaise and Pansy were trying to get Draco to forgive Harry for something he didn't do, he seemed totally opposed to coming back at all this time. As Harry thought about life without Draco, his heart gave a hopeful lurch and a despairing drop at the same time. God! Why couldn't he just choose one way to feel about that blasted man! He couldn't stand Draco, but at the same time, he couldn't live without him. He loved him more than life itself; he needed him just as much as he needed oxygen.

For the umpteenth time that day, he picked up the phone and started to dial Draco's number. For the umpteenth time that day, he chickened out and hung up. At this rate, they would never make up.

**_-Rihanna:  
That's how much I love you  
That's how much I need you  
And I can't stand you_**

Bang! The door burst open, and there he was, standing there with a bouquet of lilies and a box of chocolates and that insufferable, irresistible grin on his face. And as angry as Harry was at this man, all he could do was run into his arms. In the back of his mind, he knew Draco was bribing his forgiveness. buttering him up because he knew he was wrong, but Harry couldn't help. Everything Draco did made him want to smile, sometimes even when Draco hurt him.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_"You bloody bastard! Draco, I'm fucking bleeding!" Harry said, and even though blood was running down his hand, and he should have been so angry, all he could do was smile. Smile and grin. And then he was laughing at the pathetic look on Draco's face, the hopeless, helpless, I-didn't-mean-to-please-don't-hurt-me look on his face. Harry knew he could never be mad._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

_(FLASHBACK)_

_Harry watched as Draco ranted and raved about all his shortcomings. He watched as Draco threw insults, insults that should have stung him to the bone, right and left. He watched as Draco threw his things, his precious memories, across the room, some of them shattering. He should be furious; he should be beyond furious, so why wasn't he? He wasn't angry because everything Draco did made him smile, and he hated it!_

_"God, Draco! Can I not like you for five minutes! Why am I not angry at you!" Harry said, frustrated and laughing. Draco stopped, shocked at the randomness of the outbreak, and started laughing as well. He knew exactly how Harry felt, because he felt the same._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

_**Most everything you do make me wanna smile  
Can I not like you for awhile (No...)**_

Draco screamed in frustration yet again at the raven-haired monster in front of him. God, Harry made him so angry! But just when he was taking a breath, taking a break from his anger, Harry walked up and pressed his lips to his firmly, whispering softly in his ear to forgive him. 'Forgive him for what?' Draco thought defeatedly through the telltale haze that came with Harry's kisses. He gave in; he always did when Harry kissed him, and he supposed Harry knew that, knew that Draco could never resister Harry's kisses.

He looked at Harry and noticed the smirk on his face; of course, he knew what he was doing. He knew Draco's reactions to his kiss, to his soft soft lips. He sighed in frustration and rubbed his eyes, suddenly weary of this useless fight. God knew it wouldn't last very long. They never did with Harry, because Draco could never stay mad at him. This happened every single time!

_(FLASHBACK)_

_"It isn't my fault that your friends are mad at you! It's not my fault that they take my side! You are kind of an asshole, Draco!" Harry yelled, incensed that Draco would think it was his fault. Of course Draco was fuming, and when he looked like he was about to leave, Harry just walked up to him and held his face in his hands. He smiled, hoping to get a smile back, but Draco was not forthcoming._

_"Please, please, Draco; baby. I love you, and I'm sorry for my flaws, but their my flaws. I can't do anything about them," Harry said softly, tenderly, and kissed Draco just as tenderly on the mouth. Draco sighed and held Harry close, finally giving in. How could he not, when Harry talked to him like that, kissed him like that?_

_(END FLASHBACK)_

Thinking back to that distant fight, a fight that repeated itself again and again, Draco became angry again. But when Harry looked innocently at him with his big green eyes, he remembered why he stayed, why he always came back, to the black-haired beauty. Because he was in love, and everything Harry did, every kiss he gave, made Draco fall in love with him all over again. He kept coming back to Harry because he knew that Harry gave up everything he knew to be with him; all of his friends, his respect in the Wizarding World, and the only family him ever knew, and that was a lot of sacrifices. Harry deserved to be with whomever he wanted, and Draco was who he wanted (not that Draco was complaining). Draco stayed with Harry because every kiss he gave reminded him of all this.

**_-NeYo:  
But you won't let me  
You upset me girl  
And then you kiss my lips_**

Draco sat on the couch, waiting for hours for Harry to come home, late again, from work. He checked the clock repeatedly, angrily counting down the minutes till when his boyfriend had promised he would be home. It had now been 23 minutes past that time. **Why does he do this to me? Why does he leave me hanging like this every single night?** Draco thought to himself desperately. He really wanted to go to bed, but he couldn't; not in such a big bed, not all alone. He needed Harry with him!

All of a sudden, Harry strode through the door, and although Draco was angry at him, furious at him, for being late every single night and had been preparing to yell and scream, at the sight of Harry all anger was gone.

"Baby, why are you crying, and why do you have a black eye!" Draco said fearfully, all his anger redirected to whichever bastard had dared to do this to his Harry. He looked expectantly at Harry, even while running around the house, scrambling for a wet towel.

"It's nothing; one of the Griffindors from our year saw me and, well. I think you guess what happened next," Harry said tearfully, thankfully taking the wet towel Draco offered and holding it to his black eye. He told Draco what had happened, and although he knew Draco must have been mad at him for coming home late, he could see no anger in his features.

"Dray, aren't you angry at me for being late?" Harry said, confused. All Draco could do was shake his head, confused as well for a moment before realizing he had forgotten that he had been mad at Harry. At this, he shook his head in frustration; how did this always happen! How did he always forget what Harry had done wrong!

_(FLASHBACK)_

_Draco came storming into the bedroom, finally, after calling and yelling for Harry for about fifteen minutes. Was he deaf, why didn't he come? But as he walked into the bedroom, furious and ready to scream, he suddenly forgot why he wanted to._

_"Dray, is that you? Did you need something?" Harry asked sleepily. He looked up from his sweet position, his head rested between two pillows, holding a t-shirt of Draco's close to his chest, and all Draco could do was let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding and shake his head._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

**_All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)  
Can't remember what you did_**

Harry wouldn't back down this time. He ranted and raved and screamed and yelled and threw objects and insults and curses and hexes like they were nothing. Draco just stood there, taking it all in, knowing he deserved for walking out on his lover yet again. So he just stood there; just stood there as Harry made all his empty threats. He just stood there. Silently.

"And, finally, if you ever walk out on me again, Draco Lucius Malfoy, I will leave you before you can say 'Quiddich'!" Harry finished, panting. He was holding hand in a fist next to his head, as if he wanted so badly to hit Draco, but couldn't, just couldn't. Draco was suddenly on his knees, at his feet, begging forgiveness for something he did almost every week. He knew when to take advantage of Harry's pauses.

Harry just sighed, and thought back to all the times he had been in this same exact position. And he hated himself, because even though he knew, and everyone always told him to, he just couldn't ever leave Draco. Every time he came back, begging for forgiveness, Harry always gave it. But every time, he said that next time, he wouldn't.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_"Why do you always do this to me, Draco? Why do you always leave!" Harry said through desperate tears. He looked straight at Draco, with that challenging question splashed on his face. His beautiful face. He wouldn't stop staring at Draco, angry and hurt, but Draco didn't answer. He just apologized, sadly and with defeat in his voice, and Harry could do nothing but accept. As always._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

_(FLASHBACK)_

_Once Harry was finally finished his fuming rant, Draco just looked at his feet and rocked on his heels, like a small child being chastised by his mother. Harry sighed and eventually gave in; it was as if Draco knew exactly how to act, exactly what to do, to get Harry to forgive him._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

Harry sighed again, and opened his arms wide for Draco to enter them. And he did, and Harry just held him while they both wept at the fury and hurt that they both caused each other. This would never change, and Harry suddenly knew that. This would never change; he would always forgive Draco, because he loved too much not to.

**_-Rihanna:  
But I hate it...  
You know exactly what to do  
So that I can't stay mad at you  
For too long that's wrong_**

Draco screamed and smashed his face into the wall, as he had done a thousand times to this very same spot. He couldn't stand it; Harry always knew exactly how to touch him to get him riled up! There was nothing he could do; every time Harry touched him, even just on the arm, he gave in and gave up. No matter how annoyed or tired he was, when Harry touched him, he was ready to go, and that wore him out! He wasn't seventeen anymore! He couldn't have sex ten times a week anymore!

Thinking about this, and hating himself for being so weak, he took his things and began to pack them up. He gathered them in a suitcase and walked out the door, just left. He left, leaving Harry with no reason, leaving Harry probably collapsing in grief and confusion yet again at why Draco did this. Draco knew that when he came back, Harry would be screaming and throwing things, and would ask him why he left again, but Draco wouldn't tell him. Draco wouldn't tell him because he didn't know either. He just knew that he couldn't stop. He thought back to the first time, tried, this time, to be prepared when Harry righteously asked him why.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_And for the first time, after this inexplicable fight, Draco was faced with the realization that he couldn't say no to anything Harry asked. He would always do exactly what he wanted, would always give up whatever he asked him to give up, and would compromise to the ends of the earth to keep Harry smiling. He was whipped. He had been since Harry had been first betrayed by his two best friends and had come to him crying._

_And now he was angry. Now he was packing his stuff into his old school suitcase and preparing to go stay at Blaise's house, but he didn't know why. Why was he so mad? It wasn't Harry's fault that Draco was so devoted to him. But he couldn't stop himself, and before he knew it, he was out the door and apparating to his best friend's house with his stuff. And so started a great habit of Draco's of leaving whenever he got annoyed._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

And Draco was struck with a realization. He left so that he would feel some control, some control over what he was feeling and some control over what he did. But he would never get it, and somehow, somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew that.

**_-NeYo:  
But I hate it...  
You know exactly how to touch_**

Draco screamed, yelled, shrieked in frustration and exasperation. And Harry just stood there, looking at him innocently like he always did. And that made Draco even more angry. Eventually, Harry began looking at his feet, putting on a fake sense of humility. Draco screamed at him all the more, because he knew Harry was playing him for a gullible fool, and he knew he could do nothing to stop it. Harry came up and hugged Draco, and immediately Draco stopped yelling; he stopped fussing; he just stopped.

Harry just held him for the longest time, whispering sweet nothings into Draco's ear and telling him how sorry he was, and Draco knew he should still be angry. But he just sighed and held his boyfriend closer, giving up and feeling tired, just like he always did after fighting with Harry. It was always like this; Draco could never stay angry. When Harry gives him that pathetic look, he just doesn't want to fight anymore, and he can't stand that he can't stand his ground.

Even the first time Draco had ever been angry enough to start a fight, back in their seventh year at Hogwarts, he had given in.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_"Gah! Harry, NEWTS are coming up, and believe it or not, I actually CARE about my grades! Not everything is about YOU!" Draco said frustratedly, and Harry looked at his feet and shrugged his shoulders. He looked to be thinking; it was as if his shoes held some unknown knowledge that would tell him what to say next. When he looked up again, Harry looked fiercely at Draco._

_"That doesn't give you the right to completely ignore me! Draco, I haven't seen you outside of classes all month! You're my boyfriend, and I feel lonely. It's hard to take their insults and abuse without you there, especially when they start on our relationship because you aren't there!" Harry said angrily, and with this revelation, Draco gave up. He took Harry into his arms and let Harry cry about the loss of his friends into his welcome shoulder. But he sighed during the process. This was not how he had hoped it would turn out..._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

Draco realized that the reason he gave in was because no matter what he did, Draco loved Harry. And whenever Harry gave him one of his adorable looks, Draco would melt, and wouldn't want to fight anymore.

**_So that I don't want to fuss...and fight no more  
Said I despise that I adore you_**

"**Then why don't you just leave?**" Harry kept replaying Blaise's question in his mind, over and over. And he asked it of himself as well. Why didn't he? Of course he knew why he didn't leave; because no matter what he did, he still loved Draco. No matter what. Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, pausing only for a few seconds in his packing. Those few seconds destroyed his resolve, and he began unpacking, deciding instead to wait for Draco to come home again like he always did. He growled at himself, and that was when his lover, his dream, and the man he hated with so much passion walked in. Just one man that could make him feel so much.

"Harry? You're leaving?" Draco asked helplessly. He looked at Harry, and he looked so pitiful that all Harry could do was say "no" and go to comfort him.

"I'm not leaving; I love you too much, no matter how much I hate it," Harry said, and went to continue with his unpacking. He remembered how many times this had happened.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_"You're right, Pansy, I should. I will. Right now!" Harry said, empowered by his best friend's words._

_**Why don't you leave? **She had asked. And he realized that she was right. He should just leave. She gave him a knowing look, the look that said 'you know I'm right.' She was. And so, with that, he got his suitcase from the closet and began packing his clothes, avoiding, with all his might, the smug look of Pansy. She just stands there watching him pack, feeling satisfied, and that is how Draco finds the both of them. He breaks down, and obviously, Harry gives in, because that's all he can do._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

_(FLASHBACK)_

_"If you fucking hate me so much, then why the fuck do you stay, Potter!" Draco screamed at him. And Harry stopped to think about that. He had asked himself this question so many times, that he knew he had the answer ready, and when he thought of it, it just made him angrier._

_"Because I fucking love you! But not anymore; this time, I am leaving!" Harry thundered, and didn't even grab his things, he just stuffed some clothes into a plastic bag and started for the door, this time determined that he would leave his boyfriend. But then Draco came home._

_Draco stood there, looking heartbroken as Harry stopped in the doorway. Harry just looked at him, daring him to ask why. But Draco didn't; all he did was stand there in defeat, and it broke Harry's heart, so he turned around, sighing a deep suffering sigh and motioned for Draco to follow him. Draco asked him why, and Harry explained that he was sick of it; sick of Draco leaving every time they fought, sick of Draco's harshness in bed, sick of everything! But he also said that those things that drove him mad were the same things that made Harry love Draco so so much._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

Harry sighed again, and remembered the one time he had gotten the motivation to leave and kept it. How spectacular that had turned out to be. He had been away for less than a day before Blaise came home and reminded Harry of how much he needed Draco.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_"Harry, you can't stay here. You won't be able to; face it! You need Draco; just as much as he needs you," Blaise said firmly, leaving no room for protest. Harry opened his mouth to deny it, but stopped. Blaise was right. He needed Draco; it was time he accepted that. He nodded, more to himself than to Blaise, and picked up the backpack he had packed some clothes in. He hadn't unpacked any yet. He waved to Blaise and quickly disapparated home. For good._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

**_-Rihanna:  
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)  
I hate how much I need you (I need you...)_**

"Harry, there are so many ways you can handle this!"�Blaise yells, trying to get Harry to see some common sense.� And Harry knew he was right; there were many ways Harry could handle what Draco was doing to him.� But he couldn't think of a single one, so he just sighed and stared at his friend hopelessly.

"Harry, Harry, Harry!� What will I ever do with you?" Blaise said with fake weariness through a dramatic sigh, and Harry knows he is trying to lighten the situation.� Blaise sighs again, this time seriously, when he knows it won't work.� Harry looks at his feet pitifully, trying to muster up the motivation to do what he knows he needs to do.

"Harry, I know you know what you have to do.� It's the only thing to do.� You know I love Draco; we're great friends, but he did something he shouldn't have.� He crossed the line," Blaise said with finality, and Harry nodded his head.� He knew he had to break up with Draco, after all, he had had a one night stand with someone else, but he didn't know how he could.� It wasn't like this was the first time he had been faced with this decision.� To break or not to break.

_(FLASHBACK)_

_"Draco, you know this has to end; you can't be flirting with all these other guys. Or at the very least, not around me!" Harry said angrily. All Draco did was continue to silently stare at his feet, thinking if he took it without complaint or comment, Harry would stop, but he didn't. His passivity just made Harry angrier._

_"God damn it, Draco, say something!" Harry screamed. Draco looked up, and didn't say anything, but he sneered. Harry waiteda moment in tense, angry, shaking silence, refusing to back down until Draco said something, anything. After a few moments, he finally did.\_

_"What has to end; the flirting or our relationship?" Draco said mockingly, and Harry just shook with anger before striding into his study and slamming the door. He knew Draco would be able to hear him pounding his fists into the wall and sobbing and screaming with outrage, and not just at Draco. He was also furious with himself, for not being able to do what he should have done. Break up with Draco. He was furious with himself for knowing he would never be able to._

_(END FLASHBACK)_

Harry sighed; that instance was only a few weeks ago, and look how quickly it had escalated. Now he was trying to muster up the courage to break up with Draco because Draco had cheated on him, but Harry knew he wouldn't; couldn't. The problem was, Draco knew it too. Harry hadn't even begun considering breaking up with Draco - even after all he had done - until he saw Draco flirting so shamelessly with that guy at _Harry's_ birthday party. And now he finds out that Draco slept with someone else; how had their relationship come to that?

With this thought, Draco walked in, and immediately tried walking back out again when he saw Harry sitting on the couch. Harry chased after him, and grabbed him by the back of the shirt, dragging him back into the house. He forced Draco to sit down, and just stared at him, waiting for an explanation.

"Look, Harry, I know you know, and I want you to understand how sorry I am. It's no excuse, but I was drunk, and I didn't know what I was doing!" Draco said desperately. Harry rolled his eyes, and thought for the umpteenth time since finding out about Draco's affair about breaking up with his boyfriend of four years. But he knew he couldn't, and no matter how many times Blaise and Pansy tried to convince him he should, he knew he couldn't leave Draco for good.

**_And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa...)  
And I just can't let you go  
But I hate that I love you so (ooh)_**

* * *

**A/N: I know that I didn't use the whole song, but most of the rest was pretty repetitive, and I didn't want to just skip to the lyrics I could use, because I know I hate it when fics I read do that, so I just ended it here. Besides, I think it's pretty long as it is! I think it's okay!**

**I also said this would be a oneshot, but I decided that I couldn't just leave Harry and the other Griffindors (or at least Hermione and Ginny) hanging like I did, so I'm going to try to get out a second chapter with them making up.**

**Please review, but no flames. I'd love constructive criticism!**


End file.
